Got this in an email the other day. Would love to give the author credit, but there was no way to identify who made these up. If it was you, please let us know (email form is below). Some of these are LOL, for sure. My biggest laugh came on #2…
Ramblings of a 70+-Year-Old
- Goal for 2016 is to eat healthy foods.
Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons & tomatoes.
Well, really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese…
FINE! Ok, so it was a pizza.
A pizza with tomato sauce, cheese, tomatos, field mushrooms, onion etc. Português: Uma pizza de queijo feita em casa (Photo credit: Wikipedia) - How to prepare Tofu:
1 – Throw it in the trash.
2 – Grill some Meat. - “I just did a week’s worth of cardio walking through a spider web.”
- “I don’t mean to brag but…I finished my 14-day diet in 3 hours and 20 minutes.”
- A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.
- Kids today don’t know how easy they have it.
“When I was young, I had to walk 12 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.” - “Senility has been a smooth transition for me.”
- “Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero out they closed school? Me neither.”
- “I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented…uh, I forgot where I was going with this.”
- It’s great being over 70. Learn something new every day…and forget 5 other things.
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